The Return of Prince G

One of the main characters in my book is based on a certain gentleman I lived with for a number of years. I haven't heard from him in a couple of years but, just recently, this past month, he contacted me on facebook. I wrote back and told him I was married with kids. I haven't heard from him since.

Needless to say, it brought back a lot of old memories and feelings. I had been madly in love with him at one point. That insane love of youth when nothing matters but the feeling you get when your with that person. It doesn't matter if he can pay your bills or like your mom or treat his own mom right or cook for you, be a good father and husband. What matters is the unbelievable high you get when you smell his scent. The electricity you feel when he touches you.You know he's all wrong for you, but that doesn't matter so long as your with him.
I had decided at one point to forsake children just to be with him. They was no way I would raise a child in that environment. It ultimately ended badly, of course. He left me for una maldita. An evil person. She did me a favor in the end trying to hurt me. Ha!
I love my life now. My life was too crazy before because of a crazy love. But it's done. You never stop loving the people you used to love, but you can definitely stop BEING IN LOVE. We had our time.
Sweet dreams my prince...

Floppy disks, floppy disks.

Before the current, ongoing, incarnation of this book, I had written another one on an old IBM laptop computer that used now obsolete, hard disks. I wrote the entire thing on a now obsolete writing program called Corel. I used these minor obstacles as excuses for not continuing the evolution of this work of written art. I still haven't sent them to get translated into modern methods of encryption despite a relatively cheap website dedicated to that purpose. And I know why, I'm scared to go there again.

The one time I had read it after having gotten clean, I was agahst at how addicted I was. I spoke of drugs like old lovers, with affection and longing for "the sweet good 'ol days and nights," I dedicated to them. The realization was horrifying to me of how ill I was, both with addiction and depression, my original malady.

When I was in the thrall of that life, graduating from college seemed like an impossible task. I garduated in 2006, ten years after I had first enrolled, almost ten thousand dollars in debt to student loans after having lost my scholarship and grants. I used to not want children, now I have a beautiful son whom I cherish more than anything in this world. After so many years of dysfunctional relationships I am married to a man that loves me and I him. Thanks be to God. Perhaps the fact that I am so far removed from that point in my life is the reason so many people that were a part of that life are resurfacing. It's time to look back and reflect and discover the hidden lessons I could not see in my previous state of mind. It's time to write that book, THE BOOK.

And it starts with those floppy disks.
It's time. I am finally ready to do what I was meant to do. WRITE.

The Adventures of Acidia in Sobeland

The Adventures of Acidia in Sobeland. This is the title of a book I have been writing for years now. Actually, I already wrote it. It was my first attempt. I'm afraid it isn't really good, as most first tries are, but it's mine. It's the story of a girl who meets her own rabbit (a la Alice in Wonderland) that leads her down a rabbit hole to South Beach's underground drug scene in the late 90's early 2000's. Like Alice, Acidia is not content with her reality and wishes she could go to a place that was silly and all fun. And like Alice, the queen of that world, the Queen of Ice, crystal meth, almost destroys her.
What's interesting about that story is how Acidia came to want to run so much into something that she had been trying to run from her whole life, drugs and their devastating effects. This blog will be my online drafting of the copy I will eventually publish. I hope you enjoy it. I hope you learn from it.

"I have become enamoured of my own disintegration. I watch pleased as the threads of my being unravel. My mind, body and soul slowing dissolving into the depths of madness. I am in love with my own destruction, because I hate what I have become." - Acidia.

May my tip-toeing on the edge of madness help you from your own destruction.

Live, laugh and love,
Gigi Love